Stress

What should i do?

My dad had been asking me to join his company, P.U.B

I kindda reluctant to go but still i am thinking of my future.

Being in a government sector is far more a stable career than being in a private 1.

But still its so stressful.

Joining my dad's company will allow me to further my education.

It have a lots of benefits..

What should i do?

Its the second tyme he asked me to join.

Hiassss..

So stressful

I guess hoped that whatever decision i will make

I will not regret in the future.

To god almighty

Your full of knowledge and wisdom.

Please show and lead me to the true path.

I know that whatever path you had chosen for me

It is all because of my own efforts.

Darn it, i really need to get over this soon.

Hartred Forever

I looked at the pics of when i was happy

I could tell myself the things you could do

Your love gave me life

Your smile brouht happiness

Your laughter brought joyfulness

It was the sweetest time of life

Then you left

I have no one to catch me when i fall

I'm dying

I'm hurting

Full of sorrow

I let you in my soul

But you crushed it till the last bit

You gave me my ever first breath

And you're the one who took it at last

HURT,HURT,HURT

Oh god

Show me the meaning

Of being love

Till then i'll let you lead my way

To happiness

RAZALI LEE

Alone

Waiting In A Corner..

Pleading That I'll See Her...

Hoping That There's Still Forever...

Though I Know We Can Never Be Together...

All Those Promises Had Turned To Never...

Walking In A Road Of Pretend...

Closing Eyes To All I See...

When Would This Weakness End...

How Could I Bring It Out Of Me?

I'm All Alone...

So out Of Touch...

I'm So Afraid...

I've Lost So Much...

Tell Me When Would There Be...

A True And Real Reality?

Where Nothing Seems A Fantasy...

And We Are Written In Destiny...

Cause All I See Are Dreams...

Nothing Is What It Seems...

I Turn Away From These Disgrace...

Then I See An Angel's Face...

Crying Tears Of Blood And Pain...

Crippling Fear Inside My Brain...

I Sit Down With These Illusions...

Wandering In My Own Oblivion..

Stupidity

Lets talk bout zuhri's legong for today and yesterday... I tink its his LEGONG season! Lets start from yesterday. Just to make short.. i will basically mention the most significant LEGONG done by zuhri.

We went to Changi beach to chill out while waitng for Tash to finish work. He took a cigarette and lit it Cyde and myself was amazed with his rillant lighter. Very fancy. This is when his stupidity came. After the big "HU HAR" bout the fancy lighter.. Zuhri was like "mane rokok aku?! Aku da light da rokok!" we were like huh?! den we look around for it.. And guess wat?!!! OMG!!! he put the whole stick into his Teh tarik packet drink!! Wat a moron!! haha! Fucking hilarious!!

What hurts the most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok

But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' It

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you

That's what I was trying to do

I've been trying to reach you

Dear child, they've asking us to move

I watched her taking off her shoes

(Let the shore tide take you in, lt the sore tide in)

I'm weary, I'm not quite rested yet

This could be obvious to you

(Let the shore tide take you in, let the shore tide in)

In this short time we've been setting up

I've been trying to reach you, but my extention chord

Wouldn't reach that far

(Now you've lost your chance)

I've been patiently waiting

The indicator light is flashing on

(Now you've lost you're chance)

Dear sleeper you could've had the better bed

I loved to watch the way you grew

We're out, we're out the door

We're out, we're out the door

In this short time we've been setting up

I've been trying to reach you but your extension chord

Doesn't reach that far

(Doesn't reach that far)

(Reach that far)

I've been patiently waiting

The indicator light is flashing on

It's Flashing on

Flashing on

In this coma, sleepless dancing

We've been trying now

I've been trying to reach you but

Your extension cord wouldn't reach that far

Doesn't reach that far

Reach that far

I've been desperately waiting

The indicator light is flashing off

Its flashing off

Flashing off

I've been trying to reach you but your extension cord

Wouldn't reach that far

(wouldn't Reach that far)

(Reach that far)

Weird

What the hell does she wants for me??? Damn her, she already broken up with me and why should she so concern about me. Asking her mom to call me to ask whether i passed my tp or not. I just pity her mom cause from the sound of her voice its seem that she was crying. Don't cry for me okey makcik. I'm not worth your motherly tears. Haiz kindda broken hearted to hear her crying. I just hope that i could do something. Then after the call, i called her. She told that she has feeling. Fuck off lah feeling bloody idiot, i called her inhuman because that she making this fucking confusing. What a bloody fucker you are. It is freaking obvious that i really enjoyed the moments with you and i never regret a single bit. Fuck. Now lets just forget about each other and play along with life like as if we never really known each other. Fuck.

Yesterday, went to tamp and chill out with shida cause she was bored at home at further more. Since i got nothing to do at home i chilled out with her. While waiting for her at tamp interchange, caught up with zuhri. Hahak. Been quite sometimes already. Aniway he was waiting for 1 of his girl friend. OooHHH.. Aniway caught up with shida and sat behind mall cause she didnt bring her wallet and i didnt my cards along. So we are like kindda broke. Hahak. Aniway we talk about alot of things as usual and hahahak. Nevermind. Zuhri joined us later. He taught me howto create blog skins and shida too. But now i kindda lost again. Eeerrrrr... hehehe. Tash caught up with us quite late. Tak tahu uh ape dier buat kat rumah. And i still chill around with zuhri and friends. Kindda see before those 3 women but i just can't recall. Nevermind. Talk to zuhri about cars. Hahahak it was sort of fun. Soon later i make my way home. Truth is it was an enjoyable one even though not much happened but it was fun. Damn i hungry rite now. But not in the mood to eat.. Hias see how lah. Aite ppl adios.

Yippee

Guess what i passed my tp. Woohoo.. I'm so freaking happy. Still wished that person have share this happiness with me. But what the fuck nahz its okie, just let it be. Hahak. Ijust ned to be stronger each day passes by. During the test, the officer spot alot of mistakes from me. Forget to do this forget to do that, and i though i am gone for. But in the interview room he told me i need to be confdent when driving and i nod my head. And he pop out the question whether this is my 1st time and i told him yes. I thought he going to me fail but woohoo, he passed me.. Damn how happy am i at that moment. After that i rush to traffic police ubi and told my mum. As usual no reaction. Nahz nevermind, i know she is happy for me. Later i met up with Shida. She asked me to accompany her to get a mc so i agree. We both reach there like aroud 1 and the clinic is still close. We sat down at mcdonalds and i had my lunch there. Had filet meal. Ate abit cause i don't really feel like eating nowadays. Hee. Then went to the clinic. She was the 1st in line. So it was matter of minutes before her name was called up. It was fast by the way. Got her mc and medicine, she had to rush to Tan Tock Seng hospital to fetch her mum. So waited a cab with then soon i left my own way. Took bus 39 back home. Not much school students fair enough cause i don't really like taking bus full of students. Around 3 i already reach home. Told my grandma about me passing my tp. She was happy. Hahak who wouldn't right. Cucu tersayang. Hee. anyway now i doing some research about buying a car. I really want to own my very car. Hee aite then tats all today. toodles

Few more hours

Tomorrow 24th March 2008, my tp. Few more hours to go before i have the test. I really really want to pass this. I already booked a circuit in the morning to give a revision. I just want to pass and i can buy and owned my very own vehicle. This is what i really wanted. I already promise my good buddy that if he come back here i will fetch him from the airport and i also told him that this year will be my year seeing myself on the road. Fuu.. Kindda tired.. Got chest pain now and then. I don't know whether is due to smoking but seriously lah i have been smoking more than 20 sticks per day after the incident. I not killing myself. I guess that i feeling lonely and lost and maybe that is why i been smoking more. Ya ya, you guys will say i so stupid for doing so but please if you're in my shoes what will you do then. Tell me. Haiz just drop the topic about smoking. I now just want to concentrate of passing my driving license.. It has always been my dreams.. Aite then, good luck to myself. All the best.

A Friend

I consider him as my good, best friend. He did a lot of things for me back then when he is still here in singapore. I knew what kind of person he is. So no worries. At times when serene broke up wth me and i don't know who am i suppose to go to. He lend me his ears and i really appreciate him for doing so. During the times when i just broken with serene, he didn't forget about me. When he is still dating with Wani ( a married woman with a kid now ) he always asked me along to join them. I feel like a sore loser, people are dating yet i come in into the picture. Yes it was not right to do so but i feel kind of an extra but he and Wani accept me being and goin out with them. I felt so lucky and blessed to have such companion at that time. But its too ashamed that Wani did wrong to him and they split. Now he with my dear good girlfriend ( Shida ). Alhamdullilah they now have been together for almost 3 years already. I'm so jealous. My only wish is for the to get married and live together. Its hard and rare to see a girl and a boy friend ends up being together. All the best to them and i hoped that i lived the day to see both of them get marry and it will be one of the best moments of my life to see my best buddy got married. Till then, i promised him that i take an eye on his girlfriend here. So no worries buddy.

Back to the same old me

It been a week since the last time i saw her. Particularly i was in deep pain and was truely hurt of what she had done to me. I always though that no matter how cruel people can be toward me i must always give in and be nice to them. It just the nature of myself being this way. Hiaz she got a replacement already now. How stupid am i to give way to people like this. I even sacrifice my friends because of her. All this sacrificial things are nothing but a waste. Now the only things i left with is my family and friends. I dont really know when i be able to find the true person for myself. Maybe its just god almighty to show more towards life. No matter what there will always be karma in life. I missed her. Be frank. even though it may not seen by people that i do care. I dont know what to do in life now. Slowly but surely i will the strengh and courage to stand up on my both feet again. Í just hope that she happy making her desicion cause if shé not, i don't think she making a right choice goin for that type of people. So young yet so fragile.